No, it’s not Christmas time (yet!!!). That is the runner-up to the most wonderful time of the year. The most wonderful time of the year is…drum roll please…FLANNEL SEASON!! Not only do flannels make you look manly as hell – and hopefully you learned from my last post, beards do too – but they are perhaps the most comfortable article of clothing ever created. I’m pretty sure I saw a picture of Lewis and Clark sporting flannels on their expedition out west in May of 1804. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a picture of good ole’ Zeus, king of the Gods, wearing one while delivering powerful winter storms to all of the lands. What? Can you not picture him conjuring up a blizzard in a nice blue and white flannel? I definitely can, and it’s a marvelous sight I wish you all could see.
I like to compare flannels to that of the “ATH” (athlete) college football recruits are given for their position, or as a utility man in baseball: they are so versatile. Just like these players, flannels can be used anywhere and everywhere, and surpass expectations of those around them. I would even go as far as saying flannels are more versatile than basketball shorts. You can’t wear basketball shorts out on a date to a nice restaurant (I mean, you could, but you could also go naked). Flannels, on the other hand, are a show-stopper at nice restaurants (trust me, I’ve completed a few studies). A couple of Christmases ago we spent the holidays at our beach house in South Carolina, I basically asked for nothing but flannels. I got blue ones, black ones, red ones, green ones, gray ones, etc. It simply. Was. Amazing. You may be thinking to yourself, “you don’t need flannels at the beach…” WRONG! Did I not say earlier that flannels are versatile? You can even wear them at the beach. (Also, it was actually kind of chilly, soooo…)
Anyways, I’m going to give you some scenarios in which a flannel would be an appropriate choice for attire:
- Walking your dog on an early fall morning,
- Cutting down the trees in your backyard,
- Asking your neighbor for milk,
- Skateboarding (which is by far the best thing to skate in)
- Picking apples in the grocery store,
- Watching the Red Sox,
- Playing PlayStation,
- Fixing the leaky faucet that’s been keeping you up the past 3 nights,
- Ordering Chinese food over the phone,
- Drilling holes in your wall to put up a picture frame,
- Running stop signs,
I’m going to end it right there, because this list really could go on forever. And, if you don’t think it could, leave it up to me, a flannelsseur to make this list never-ending. So, go out and get yourself some flannels if you don’t have any. Tell them I sent you, they’ll know who I am.