For the first time since 2007, the Red Sox have won the AL East, and are back in the playoffs – a year removed from being the bottom-feeders of the division, and 2 years out from being too full of chicken and beer (no, not the album Ludacris dropped in 2003) to perform in September. But let us not dwell on the past. A new postseason is upon us, and the last time the Sox won their division they went 11-3 in the playoffs, en route to their 7th World Series Championship and second since 2004 (oh what a magical year that was). I’m not sayin’…I’m just sayin’.
What exactly was it that turned these Sox around from last year? It could have been the fact they got rid of that parasite of a coach they had last year (Bobby Valentine) and brought back the kindhearted, gentle-giant John Farrell, who was with them during the 2007 championship season; it could have been they used last years disappointing season they had with that same parasite I mentioned before as fuel and never looked back; it could be this years powerful offense (1st in runs, 2nd in batting average, 2nd in on-base percentage, 1st in slugging percentage) paired with a revamped bullpen, the much slimmer and dominant John Lackey, and the most fierce pitcher I’ve seen in a while, Jake Peavy (the man grunts like he’s serving during the final round of Wimbledon); or, you know, it could have been…THE BEARDS!!!! THOSE BEAUTIFUL, BELOVED BEARDS THAT JUST ABOUT EVERY RED SOX PLAYER IS ROCKING! There are more blood, sweat, and tears in those beards from the hard work they’ve put in than there are at the location A-Rod had his steroids injected! (Blood – on the needles of the syringes, Sweat – from the wiping of the forehead because another guy was close to his butt, and Tears – from, well, because of how much of a baby he is).
Just look them! Someone needs to get me this poster/shirt/magnet, whatever it is!! You will be my number one best friend if you do! Since it may be hard to read, I’ll go ahead and list them out for you all: (from left to right, starting at the top) The Sick Flow – Dustin Pedroia, The Saltine – Jarrod Saltalamacchia, The Blue Collar – Brandon Workman, The Ironsides – Jonny Gomes, The Wold – David Ross, The Siesta – Mike Napoli, The Tease – David Ortiz, The Sure Thing – John Lackey, The Freshwater – Mike Carp, The Pineapple – Shane Victorino, The Buck – Clay Buchholz, and The Canuck – Ryan Dempster.
In all seriousness, I’m definitely looking forward to the postseason and this Red Sox team. Girls say guy’s don’t understand how frustrating “that time of the month” is, I beg to differ. I will be partaking in something very similar. I like to call it “That Time of the Year”. A whole month of all of the mood swings, pain; both emotional and physical (don’t question me, boy), and feeling of not wanting to get out of bed that stem from the playoffs. Hat’s off to this team and what they’ve accomplished this year. Good luck, men!