(Unexpected) Roooooad Triiiiip


This picture has nothing to do with the story. My sister just sent it to me,

and I had to share it with you all, because it couldn’t be more spot on.

Nothing makes you say, “awwww yeaahhhhh!” more than an unexpected road trip:

I was sitting in my office yesterday when I got a call from my boss telling me I had to go to our Pennsylvania office to ship something to a customer. Some of you may be asking, “why couldn’t you just ship it from your office?” or, “why couldn’t someone at that office in PA just ship it for you?” I’m not trying to be rude, but *ahem*: I COULDN’T SHIP IT FROM MY OFFICE BECAUSE IT WAS AT THE PA OFFICE, and IF SOMEONE WAS THERE TO SHIP IT, THEN I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TASK. JESUS, PEOPLE, USE YOUR COMMON SENSE.

Moving on. This spontaneous road trip was going to take me 4-hours (round trip) pending traffic, and no matter the time of the day around here there’s a 99.999%(repeating) chance you’ll hit traffic. Luckily I’m getting reimbursed by the mile, so it’s all good.

I start my trip out on perhaps the most scenic road I have ever driven on: The George Washington Memorial Parkway. If my fellow DMV friends (DC/Maryland/Virginia, not Department of Motor Vehicles) haven’t driven on it during the fall time, you haven’t experienced the true beauty it has to offer. You know how on Instagram you can put filters on your photos? Well, during the fall time, “#nofilter” does not apply to the parkway. With the sun reflecting off all of the different color leaves, you’re basically looking through a mixture of the filters “Kelvin” and “Toaster” (I may or may not have taken a picture of my laptop on Instagram to look up the names of those filters) while driving. Not to mention, you look out over the Potomac River and see the Monuments Nicholas Cage walked upon not too long ago, as well as Eagles (don’t question me, I’m an avid bird-watcher) soaring in the air above the trees. Can you say, “patriotic as fuuuuuck”?

Once I get off of the parkway and into Maryland, it’s pretty much country road up until the PA office. Not much to say here, except it’s always cool to see wide-open fields with mountains finishing off the background. I get to our satellite office, get the package, take it to the nearest FedEx to ship it, which was 9 miles away in the capital of PA (Harrisburg). As previously stated, I’m getting reimbursed for every mile, so I didn’t mind. (Sorry if this part isn’t as exciting as the parkway description. It really was as boring as it sounds). I did, however, pull a stunt that not even Evil Kenevil would have pulled. The stunt consisted of taking a picture of the downtown Harrisburg on my way back, with the river in front of it, going over 100mph on the highway, all while dodging bullets fired from mobsters who were out to get me. (Did that make up for the boring, bullet point description earlier in the paragraph? Okay, cool.)

All in all, the trip took a total of 6 1/2 hours, because I did hit rush hour traffic on the way back.

Why did you read this post? You read this post because you’re supporting me, and I really do appreciate it. Why did you read this far down into the post? If it isn’t the same answer from the previous question, then perhaps it’s because I never told you what it was I had to ship. I work for a government contracting agency, and we get a hold of some pretty crazy things. With that being said, are you ready to hear what it was I had to ship? I drove all the way up to Pennsylvania to ship a…drum roll please…



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