Major League Blasphemy


Scott Cousins, Buster Posey

Photo Credit: The Associated Press

Major League Baseball is drawing up a plan to eliminate collisions at home plate, possibly as soon as next season but no later than the 2015 season. Now, I don’t really want to write an opinionated post about this issue, because I can see where both “for” and “against” sides are coming from, and I’m stuck in the middle of the two. However, there are things I do want to point out, and those things are the comments left by many of the United States greatest citizens taking advantage of their time to shine.

One thing I love doing is reading the comment board under articles, especially those of such controversial topics as this. Here you’ll find some of the best comments in the world. These comment boards give you the opportunity to hear an opposing side; watch two people virtually go at it; laugh hysterically at peoples wittiness, or how people get off on “trolling” journalists; have the thought, “how stupid can some people be?” fill your mind, followed by a blank stare at your screen; and, the creme of the crop – reading a comment by a spammer claiming her friend makes $7,000+ a week while working from home and you can do the same in three easy steps – just click here (profile picture is typically of some hot chick).

Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comments from this article (there were over 1,000 comments, and if you think I had the time to read over all of them, well, you’re right – sometimes I do. BUT, I still wouldn’t have, because I’m too lazy):

  • “Baseball fans PAY to watch the game and know they’re in danger of getting hit by a line-drive foul ball. Where’s our protection. Maybe we should be compensated too.”
  • “What about constructions workers? Should they stop hammering nails because its dangerous? They might smack their thumb!! Ouch! No more hammers!!”
  • “Major League Baseball announced today they are removing the fastball from the game because it is deemed unsafe for players” (followed by this gem of a comment) “I predict Dickey to return to Cy Young form…”
  • “They are going to ban bats by 2016. Pitches will be lobbed directly to the batter, who will then throw the ball into the field of play…”
  • “The NFL called and they agree with this rule change”
  • (For all you Hockey fans out there) NBA – Can’t touch anyone, NFL – In the process of banning every hit, MLB – No plate collisions…NHL – “Fighting and hitting is part of the game”. Gotta love hockey”
  • “Sources say by 2016 pitching machines will be used instead of pitchers to eliminate season ending arm injuries”
  • “In 2020 all sports will be played on video games and there will be 30 co-winners so we can all be friends. Yay!”
  • “Why don’t they ban sliding in general while they’re at it? A lot of players get hurt sliding into second. Running too. Fewer players would get hurt if they just stand around.”
  • “The competition committee is also working hard to make sure that players have access to orange slices both during the seventh inning stretch and at the conclusion of games.”

A special shout-out goes to the comment board of this article for writing half of my post. As previously stated, I’m lazy, and I’m proud.


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