It’s Only Jealousy

Skateboarding

If you know me on a personal level, you know that I often come up with the strangest of reasons for things; i.e. my logic is outrageous. For instance – I can make jokes about Spanish, Portuguese, Puerto Rican, and White Caucasian people because I am 1/4 of each of those respectively. Or, since one of my brother-in-laws’ is African American I can crack jokes about African American’s as well! (I promise you I am not racist at all, and these jokes are light-hearted.) Now that you know how skewed my logic can be, try this on for size: society doesn’t get mad at skaters for damaging property, being rebellious, or being obnoxious; society gets made at skaters because society is simply jealous of them.

Skaters are some of the most persistent individuals out there. It sometimes takes hours, days, weeks, possibly even months to get a trick down, and I’m talking about one trick. We’ll try over, and over, and over, and over, and over again just to land that one trick. No matter how hard the kid you just saw slam while trying to do a switch flip down a set of stairs, you better believe that kid will be back at it again tomorrow. Stemming from this – how many ways is there to successfully land a trick (essentially “scoring”)? One: on all four wheels. How many ways is there to score in other sports? Baseball: a hit, error, fielder’s choice, sac fly/bunt, passed ball/wild pitch (at least 7); Football: a run, pass, field goal, safety (at least 4); Basketball: a shot, layup, dunk, free throw (at least 4).

Skaters are some of the most creative individuals out there. This argument kind of piggy-backs off of a post I wrote back in September, so I’ll keep this argument short. The desk that my laptop is sitting on right now, and most likely yours? I can tell you 5 ways I could make it skateable: 1) I could slide on it; 2) I could grind on it; 3) I could manual on it; 4) I could flip over it; 5) I could cut the two right legs off of it and use it as a kicker (ramp). TA DAAAAAAA! And to think you had the audacity to doubt me. I’m through with you.

Skaters can skate anywhere the ground is hard. I’m not bashing other sports right now, because I’m a huge sports fan, but when’s the last time you saw a baseball game take place on a street median? When’s the last time you saw a football game going on in a culvert? Unless you can find a median big enough to field a 9-man lineup, or a culvert that is 53 1/3 yards wide, chances are you haven’t. Watch any skate video, and the chances you see a skater skating one of the two aforementioned is greater than Miley Cyrus having a provocative performance the next time she’s on stage (ooooh – how I love thee, Miley).

Skaters turn more heads than Jennifer Lawrence walking down the red carpet (and she’s hot as shit)Ever been in a downtown setting enjoying a nice, peaceful afternoon with your friends/parents/significant other/etc. and heard a faint “krrrrr…” only getting louder and louder with every second passing by? You then do what any curious individual would do and turn your head, not knowing what to expect. Upon searching the roads you see some guy/girl cruising on a skateboard, the “krrrrr” sound getting louder with every push, rapidly approaching you. You then watch him/her up until he/she passes, gracefully weaving in and out of traffic, and take a sharp right turn down a side street. Yeahhhh…don’t strain your neck next time – it’s hard not to look.

So – who wouldn’t be jealous of a persistent, creative, versatile, head turner of a human being? It would probably take more effort NOT being jealous. I don’t want to sound cocky or arrogant, and I know anytime someone says that they know they’re coming off as sounding cocky or arrogant, but I’m just trying to portray the beauty of skateboarding, and expressing the views and opinions by a skater himself.

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